Apotheosis of the dumbass

The tsunami was due, the beach was evacuated, and there he was: one lone moron moving clumsily through the water like it was any other day off Magic Island. "Look at that schmuck," Taizo Braden blurted out, not realizing that in other cities that particular epithet would be considered a little strong for TV viewers. Those viewers would learn later that authorities in a helicopter made the guy wade back where he came from, the babooze section of the beach. "I can tell you he's not a waterman just from the way he moves," Guy Hagi said, in my favorite putdown of the entire affair. He might not have been a waterman, and he certainly was fecalcephalic, but he captured the attention of Hawaii. Someone created a Facebook fan club called, "The idiot who was swimming in Waikiki during the tsunami warning," and by 4 p.m. he had more than 4,000 fans. "This page reminds me of something my husband would do," posted Megan. "He is such a goober." "Supah lolo kine tourist!" Elsa said. Nathan took exception to some of the remarks about the lolo in question. In deference to your delicate sensibilities I'll translate his posting out of all capital letters: "Some of the best waves we've gotten all winter are goin (sic) off right now shut your mouths!!!!!!!!!!! Its (sic) mainly dangerous if you are a weak swimmer! If any of you (vulgar term deleted) know someone who surfs regularly,, (sic) you should know that surfers are generally very strong swimmers!!" Nathan would have written more but his brain hurts.

Comments

[Michael]

http://www.vaiden.net/five_chinese_brothers.html

He must have been that fool kid in this story.

[Tina]

Mahalo Howard for your coverage of events this early a.m. We were all ready to tune into the local civil defense station here, but the buggahs was playing music...wassup? As I listened to BethAnn and others commenting on the amount of people going IN to Waikiki, I was thinking that it's a good thing they weren't visiting Hilo and especially lucky that Harry Kim is no longer director of Civil Defense...

[Julie Ford]

Howard, although Nathan wouldn't agree, this is a masterpiece.

[Cindy]

I live in Hawaii and am on the mainland for a week and I watched as this all unfolded on CNN. I was mortified that this person could be so lolo, that he would risk his life to be the center of attention. Has anyone checked him into the Kaneohe Hospital yet to be evaluated?

[Julia]

Luckily for "the schmuck" waves were much smaller than first thought. Also lucky he was on Oahu instead of the Big Island, I can tell you if he had gotten caught in what happened at Coconut Island he might have drowned!

[Jeremy Moses]

Howard, you couldn't be more right. The guy was a dumbass. And didn't some other guy walk out there and also try to surf?? Both of them are dumbasses.

[Kimo]

As an ex-New Yorker, the fact that Taizo called him a schmuck was a highlight of the broadcast for me.

[CTarleton]

Thank you for "fecalcephalic."

[john hough]

I was watching the Kuhio beach webcam..and saw numerous DUMBASS'S on the beach.!!.the cops were on small all terrain vehicles making frequent passes up and down the beach, telling people to leave..Tsuanmi alert!! As soon as they get out of webcam range more people would appear, even going on "the groin" and up and down the blvd!! Appsolutely amazing!! and it had to be tourists..these are the ones that bemoan the casualities when there are casualities..STUPID WILL GET YOU KILLED!! Fortunately no big wave came in..and fortunately these idiots wern't killed..but it was a real study in human behavior to watch this unfold and people acted like it was no BIG thing!! Amazed me!!

[AJ McWhorter]

Shame to this goofball who wanted his 15 minutes of fame and also to the others who abused social media by posting bogus information and photographs which do not help the situation whatsoever.

The coverage on all of the stations was good, but did someone forget forget to turn things off late at night on Friday (on KFVE)when I saw Keahi walking around with his shirt tail hanging out after he left the anchor desk?

[Anne]

fecalcephalic!!! Priceless.

[Unkanesson]

Natural selection at work.

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